OPINION: To Find A Good Business Idea, You Don’t Need Anyone Else
People's opinions vs. fact with business ideas
It’s another day, another addition of the Frolics
I’m, as always, Ellen “Jelly” McRae, the writer/solopreneur/content creator/whatever you want to call me, with the goods.
By trade, I write ‘💜 1 Lovelock Drive 💜’ and relationship articles using my experiences.
To my faithful, welcome back. I’ve missed you!
If you’re new to my blogletter, I’m pretty happy you’re here. Stay awhile, get to know me, and come with me as I stuff up life, make amazing and dumb-ass career decisions, and share my *cough cough* wisdom.
Thank You Troll For Planting The Doubt
We all know social trolling gets a little out of hand.
Let’s scrap that. It gets a lot out of hand.
And as a writer, I didn’t think it would reach a point where I needed to justify why I choose the topic of my article. Or the niche I choose to write about.
Naively I thought people would accept my decision, either read my work or not. But alas, the internet isn’t the wonderful, kind place we hope it to be at our most vulnerable.
“Why would you want to write about relationships? Is it really a good idea?”
This was the question posed to me after I splurged all about a breakup, and what I learned from my cheated ex. I didn’t know how to answer. All the immediate aggressive answers came to mind, things like:
“Because I wanted to.”
“Because it makes a great story.”
“Because it’s going to make me money.”
“Because I like writing about my past relationships.”
“Because I want to help anyone going through something similar to me.”
As I analysed my instincts, I realised what those reasons summed up came to:
Because I thought it was a good idea.
Now someone has questioned me, suddenly wanting to know why I thought it was a good idea, I start to question myself.
Is writing about relationships a good idea? Have I made a gigantic mistake? Should I keep going?
Fuck. There was doubt, the last thing I needed.
But I had to tell myself, at that moment, I don’t need anyone to tell me my ideas are good enough. And I want to make sure that you know; neither do you.
What on earth is a good idea?
Everyone understands what a good idea is.
It’s a concept, a thought, a proposal we believe will work in theory and in practice.
Going to the park for a picnic on a sunny day is a good idea. It’s an enjoyable way to spend a day. Going to the park on a rainy day, however, is a bad idea. You will get wet, and your food will get wet, and the ground will be soggy. It won’t be enjoyable.
Good ideas are value judgments. They are assessments we make based on our own values and perceptions of the world. Yet, because we all have different values and perceptions of the world, we will never universally agree on good ideas.
That’s why we have debates, opposing points of view, polls, referendums, and elections.
We know everyone shares different beliefs on the same topic.
It’s like death and taxes. It’s a fact of life.
When we’re different, we’re never going to agree.
Your opinion. My opinion. Her opinion. Their opinion. Opinions.
With such differing beliefs, we’re never going to all feel the same about one topic. The complexity of the topic doesn’t determine how much we agree or don’t.
Even on the most basic of topics, the picnic debate, there will be people who say it’s not a good idea. Someone can say they love picnics in the rain, so it’s a great idea.
We need to accept that what’s a good idea to us, might not be to someone else. For all the logic, reasoning, evidence and persuasion, we might never be able to convince someone their idea is good or bad.
We will never see eye to eye.
That’s their opinion, and you can have yours.
Who is the authority on good ideas?
I always find it strange when people tell others their ideas are bad. Even if they have all the logic and reasoning in the world, who made them the judge, jury and execution of good ideas?
Who is the authority on a good idea?
We’re very good at assigning the judge role to people in our life, though. Some of us need validation from our parents, or from a mentor, or former teacher. We give them authority to decide the validity of our ideas.
Here’s the problem.
As much as it can be hard to believe, they too can get it wrong. Just because we’ve given them that authority doesn’t mean they deserve it, or will always get it right.
No one can say with absolute certainty what is a bad idea or good.
Bad ideas can easily become good ideas.
What never helps us is when what should be a bad idea, what shouldn’t work in theory, turn out to be a good idea. It’s then we have to eat our words.
I watch a home renovation show here in Australia, called The Block. The contestants get judged weekly on their renovated room. In the most recent season, the five couples competing revealed their first bathroom. One of the contestants chose a terracotta colour tile for the shower, a very on-trend colour and design.
I said to my husband as the episode unfolded, “What a bad idea. The judges are going to hate that tile colour.”
No prizes for guessing how much the judges loved the tile choice.
If this happens in such small circumstances as a television show, imagine how much we can get wrong about big things.
How believing an authority can backfire on us.
People are going to manipulate you.
When this person questioned me, I wondered what was at stake for them.
When you borrow money from the bank, they want to know if you’re a good fit for a loan. They want to know your reason for wanting the money, whether it’s a worthwhile cause. Do you want the money for a good idea? Their assessment of our idea is necessary.
The bank has an invested stake in knowing why you want the money because they have money to lose.
But when people don’t have anything to lose, why do they make commentary of your ideas? Why do they want me to think my idea is bad?
I have theories. In the case of the person commenting on my article, they could want to throw me off balance, for their own gain. They might want to humiliate me. They might want to draw attention to their public profile, using my situation for clout.
Whatever it is, when someone passes judgement on your idea, their reasons for doing so aren’t always pure. Under the guise of helping us, they might be able to gain off your suffering.
As much as we don’t want to think someone lies to us like that, it’s what people do.
Here’s what I know about our ideas.
We’re never going to get anywhere waiting for someone to praise our good idea.
This isn’t about what the person said to me, or what they were trying to say. Or even people trying to manipulate us, help us, or something in the middle.
It’s about our need for validation of our ideas.
We don’t need it.
I know that’s easy to say because as humans we seem to seek it out. Or read into it when we receive uninvited commentary. But there is so much conflict between the basic understanding of what a good idea, it doesn’t make sense to seek it. We’re only setting ourselves up for failure.
And worst of all, if we go about our lives waiting for people to validate what we do, we might wait forever.
Because we may never have anyone tell us we have a good idea.
Tell me a time you got it wrong
Oh, we’ve all been there. We thought someone had the worst idea in the world and it turned out they were a genius. Tell me about a time someone proved you wrong!
Always Leave On A Song
Sometimes you need to run with your ideas and tell people to accept your decisions. It’s like that, and that’s the way it is. Enjoy 🤩
You’ve freakin’ got this!
This journey isn’t the same without you. And I sure know you can’t find success without support, somewhere to vent, and people just like you. Join me here on The Frolics as we grow our careers together!
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"We’re never going to get anywhere waiting for someone to praise our good idea."
That quite right there sums it ALL up. No matter what ideas you have there will always be someone who hates it or loves it. But waiting for validation is a fool's game!