SOLOPRENEUR: When Family/friends Don't Support Your Small Business

My experiences with starting and running a business, knowing your loved ones leave you feeling unsupportive.

Jul 20

Hello! 😊 I’m, as always, Ellen “Jelly” McRae, the writer/solopreneur/content creator sharing my experiences working from home, the extensive business process and journey, and managing a work-life balance as I start and grow a business. This is my ⭐️ weekly email for free subscribers to The Frolics ⭐️ For the VIP exclusive, visit Highway 🔓 (and scroll to the bottom to get FREE LIFETIME ACCESS - offer expires July 31st)

How do I start a business with no support from friends?

Well, I’m still working on that one. Let me explain.

Almost on a weekly basis, I talk to my husband about support. Not his support for my business, specifically, but the support I get as an online creator, a writer, and a person trying their ass off.

Or, as I constantly remind him, a lack of support.

It keeps coming up in my life. I tweeted about it after someone in my life pointed out a spelling error in my TikTok, rather than liking the video I slaved over.

I believe it is my own fixation on it and my complete inability to move on from the fact that I don’t get much support for my business from the people in my personal life.

I’m sure a therapist would have a field day on this. But here are some grim stats for you:

I haven’t divulged any of this for sympathy. Far from it. But I say it to set the tone about the realities of the solopreneur life, and what it’s like to chase goals.

This is life is nothing like glossy television shows of group strength and support suggest. The solo in solopreneur is an understatement.

This week as I’ve felt the weight and pressure of what I’m doing heavier on my shoulders than ever before, I couldn’t ignore this facet of being a success-hunter right now.

Starting a business is hard

Sometimes it’s hard enough to come up with a goal.

I remember sitting in the career counsellor’s office in my last year of high school, working through with her what my next move would be. She kept asking me about the idea of attending university. And figuring out the course which would ultimately land me my dream career.

But at that moment, I realised the goal to set wasn’t the career end goal she was talking about me reaching. The goal was to have a goal.

Once I figured out what I wanted to do in life, to become a published writer, I set about doing that. It took years of study and working, almost a decade past the day in her office, to come to this conclusion.

Then I had to set about reaching those goals.

I was proud of myself. This is worth celebrating.

Should I tell everyone about my goals?

Well, I’ve stopped sharing my goals with my loved ones. Here’s why.

As a writer, all I want is readers.

I don’t write so I can fill space on the bookshelves or so I can fill up my slice of the internet. I have something to say and of course, I want people to read it.

You would think the closest people to me would be my first readers. But as I know in my real life most don’t read, or have ever read anything I’ve written, I know it’s a sign they don’t support my business. Or me.

So what do we want as solopreneurs/entrepreneurs/small business owners?

I would say most people like you and me would want the following from their friends and family (especially when the going is tough):

“Buy” our product - watch our videos, read our work, visit our store etc
Like our social media - Engaging in our social content doesn’t cost our family and friends anything, and they do it for people they don’t know too. How hard is it to like our content too?
Tell their friends - Our product/offering might not be what they want or need, but surely they know someone who will need it. A little harmless word of mouth wouldn’t hurt the cause.

Signs people support your goal

If they supported my goal or wanted to contribute to my goal, they would do those things. They would be our biggest cheerleaders where it mattered most.

And more. But alas, most of us hold our breath in hope of that happening.

My experiences aren’t the exception to the rule. I know many other struggling business owners who can’t convince their loved ones to buy their products or use their services.

We don’t expect our friends and family to be our biggest and most lucrative customers. But when they don’t even make the customer list at all, it’s a warning sign they don’t care.

Why is working from home challenging for small business owners?

The answer to that question is time.

When you’re pursuing your goals, time is a fickle commodity.

You realise how little of it you have, and how much you need.

You always want to find as much time as possible to make your dreams come true. It’s as if time has never been more important.

It’s hard enough for you to make the most of the time available to you. The last thing you need is someone else disrespecting your time. So how do people do this to you? They:

Assume you have all the time in the world - When you quit your job, and start up your own business, all people concentrate on is the fact you don’t have a conventional job. No boss apparently means no commitments. And worse, they think you’re just exploring a hobby.
Assume you’re available at the drop of a hat - It’s always you. For any task they need help with, they call on you because you’re the one who is “free”.
Call you in the middle of the work day - They know you will answer because you don’t have a boss to tell you off. You’re always “free” for a chat.

It’s not just about those who are working from home or setting up their own business.

Fitness goals take a lot of time and energy, for example. But someone who doesn’t support your goals ignores your exercise regime, and calls you at the same time every day, even though they know you’re at the gym.

And they call upon you to be their anti-fitness friend, their couch potato, even though it’s the opposite of your lifestyle.

They don’t get it, and it shows.

@ellenjellymcrae Who’s with me? #smallbusinessowner #writerslife #writertok #relationship

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Another reason why you shouldn't tell everyone your goals

Why bother telling them when they don’t ask you about your pursuits?

The most heartbreaking reality for all business owners is the way people in your life pretend like your goals and dreams don’t exist. They:

A conversation doesn’t cost the person anything, but it means so much to you, especially when you’re at your lowest, or when you’re trying to give it everything.

Your goals don’t define you. We know that we aren’t our goals, and it’s not the only thing going on in your life. But to never mention it, like the elephant in the room, it stings.

It’s hard to believe someone supports your business or goals when they don’t acknowledge the goal itself. It’s like ignoring a person. When you pretend they aren’t there, you’re making a statement.

You don’t want anything to do with the person. So it’s easy to conclude the same about our goals.

Is This How People Show They Care?

Here is the sticking point.

I’m a believer in what you do and not what you say.

If I asked all my loved ones, and your loved ones, they would say they care about you. And they support your goals. They would likely feel insulted that I even asked.

Yet, their actions don’t meet their words. If they can’t demonstrate they care, saying it is completely meaningless.

We need to feel it.

Do we need people to believe in us?

I did not mean this to be a doom and gloom perspective, where you walk away thinking the human race is one big letdown.

But I didn’t want to pretend the pursuit of goals is received seamlessly with the people in your life.

And in reality, we don’t need others to have goals or reach them. We are capable of reaching our dreams without having our hands held. We don’t need the people in our life there all the time. Whether we need their permission to talk about them in our business pursuits is a completely different issue.

Yet, it’s ok, only human, to want some level of support for your small business. Or feel like you need it at certain times.

And it’s not much to ask to have the people you love to show you that they care.

Together, we can do anything! Whether you’re a solopreneur like me, or a fascinated onlooker watching this business documentary, say hello! Ask me anything or share your concerns here!

The Frolics